Stuck.

It's been a few months since I've updated, I suppose now is as good a time as ever. Looks like back in August I was around 169 lbs... I managed to work it down to 162.something, but am currently sitting around 165. So pretty much, I'm stuck. I need to drop 10 more pounds in order to head off to MEPS, so I'm starting another juice fast to get me eating clean again!

I'll try to keep up again with the posts, hopefully some pictures will motivate this lard ass to MOVE!

The Suburban Hippie. Yay-yuh!

I live in the suburbs. I'm sort of a hippie (but only SORT of... sorry, I watch way too much tv and love my plastic wrap, and am all for guns and justified war... so, I don't think I'll ever be a full fledged hippie). Hence, the namesake of this post.

My Birkenstocks are shiny; I have silver Birks. The only thing I think they lack are some bling. I'm seriously considering bedazzling them... is that Birkenstock blasphemy? I guess we'll find out at some point...

Anyway, the reason I mention this is so that you can [maybe] better understand what I'm about to tell you...

WE BOUGHT CHICKENS!

Real (and alive) chickens! I thought I'd clarify because when I told a friend we bough the chickens, she told me she had some too... only they were dead and frozen in her freezer.

Our chickens move and breathe and chirp... they even have names. I don't plan to eat'em (they are for egg laying only), so why the hell wouldn't I name them!? Plus, names are just fun.

My wee bitty flock now is made of two of each of the following: Barred Rock, Golden Sex Link (Golden Buff), Rhode Island Red, and Deleware ♥

In that same breed order, their names are: Bat-hen (like batman... LOL), Emily, Linda Lovelace (Lovie), Goldie, Jasmine, Bird, Ghost, and Penelope.

Yes, one of the birds is named Bird. That's about as creative as my two year old gets LOL. And Lovie was named by my dad who thought a porn star name was fitting of a bird with the word 'sex' in the breed name - and to top it off, I think she really CAN swallow worms whole! *wink*

8 little baby, 1 week old chicks now reside in my bedroom in an aquarium (or is it now a terrarium since it isn't filled with water? Whatever. It's a glass box. You know what I mean.) until we are forced to bring in the huge 4'x3' dog crate on the 21st, when they'll be 2 weeks old, and that is where they'll stay until they move in to their coop at 8 weeks.

OH - the coop. You know, the big and beautiful and elaborate chicken mansion that is in my back yard? No? Oh, right, we don't have a coop. I have PLANS for a coop, but I hardly think that will work.

In the next few weeks I'll post a step by step post of how the coop came to be, and some pics of my little chirpies growing along with their home :)

In fact, speaking of updates and photos... we've done quite a bit to this house in the year we've been here. Maybe I should share some photos as we go along and complete it? I'm bound and determinned to get what I want, and to do it as cheap [cheep? haha] as possible, scoring lots of materials and home decor from the free section of craig's list. You know, one man's trash is another man's ... headache. It's THIS woman's happiness, but my husband hates it. Whatever, he'll live.

Fishing. Crabbing. And not giving a shit about either.

My husband bought a new rod and reel this weekend. It's red. He spent about a half an hour yammering on and ON about all the fancy features it has, and what a steal he got on it, and the look of pride on his face was BEAMING. I, however, don't remember any of it with the exception of the color. When he starts in on his new toys, I simply repeat the last few words he said to me in the form of a question or statement to make it seem as if I'm listening and truly interested.

The Husband: You see this fucking awesome pole?! It's got [insert features I can't remember here, and make it last 10 minutes]! Yeah, AND I scored this on sale for [$x.xx]!

Me: [Best fake shocked face fucking ever] WOW! [$x.xx]?! (Continue reading newest featured story on facebook)

The Husband: YEAH! Can you believe it?! I know I can definitely use it to [insert crap you would do with a fishing rod that is more in depth than 'fish', and again make it last at least 10 minutes]. I can't WAIT to get out on the boat and try it out!

Me: Oh yeah, getting out on the boat will be great! (Start sorting through my email)

The Husband: I need to look up tide times for tomorrow so I know what time we'll be launching. I really hope it won't be at midnight again... [insert craptastic story of the LAST time he went fishing with his OLD rod and reel and how THIS time it will be *soooo* much different. Make it last at least 15 minutes].

Me: [Oh crap. I can't remember what he just said... fuck.] :SMILE: :NOD:

Unsurprisingly this technique is employed for various topic subjects from hunting, fishing, guns (although I do take some interest in this subject), cars, tools, electronics... the list goes on and on. If the man actually wanted me to pay GENUINE attention, he'd learn to talk about shit like: yarn, crafting, dogs, babies, food, and just about ANYTHING except the before mentioned subjects that he usually prefers. But since he doesn't, I can only assume he doesn't give a shit if I am really listening or not and just wants to talk about his new toys.

Am I wrong? I highly doubt it. Do I care? Um, not really. He just better be ready for me to ear-fuck him when I want to talk about me-related subjects, and he better pretend to care too!

What kind of crap do your spouses talk about that you have absolutely NO interest in (if you can even remember...)? Please tell me while I sit here, virtual ears wide open... oh, don't mind my posting some new facebook statuses in the mean time, I promise I really am listening ;)

Can you hear me in the back? TESTINGTESTING...

Well fuck.

Yes, fuck.

That is how I feel about the general aura of my day (do days have auras or is is that a person thing? ...animal thing? ...living in general thing - would plants count? WHATEVER. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.). Not in an angry-fuck kind of way. More like a sigh-fuck kind of day. You know, I don't have anything I seem to want to accomplish, even though I have a to-do list several pages long (well... a theoretical list, I don't actually write shit down HAHAHA), and yet, I sit. I stare. I watch my children destroy things and merely twinge instead of actually doing something about it.

I've been browsing the interwebz (<-- I used a z, because I'm cool like that. Or at least I like to think I am.), facebook stalking surfing, and blog hoppin'. I have met my childrens' basic needs (i.e. FOOD), and even managed to stuff my face along the way. I've had way too much water though, and interupted my nothingness with multiple trips to the loo. I'm annoyed with it. I'm seriously considering catheterizing myself if I'm going to continue this health kick and all this water drinking.

My husband will be home in 2 hours and think that a hurricane went through our home. My anti-clean terrorist children have done all in their power to fuck up every.single.thing in this house. My animals got roped in to it too, I see many a dog footprint on my floor. I'm pretty sure the puppy tore up a diaper upstairs. I'm scared to go look, honestly.

Maybe in an hour or so I'll down some sort of energy drink, bribe all of my children, and kick the pets outside in an attempt to tidy before said husband actually walks through the door. Then I can tell him how completely and totally exausted I am from my all-day workings and blab about ALLLL the wonderful things I've accomplished today..

Yeah. That sounds like a dandy of an idea...

Good thing he doesn't read this blog.

And don't hate bitches, you know you do it too!

20 lbs? Holy shit!

So when I started this whole weight loss thing around my birthday, I believe I was wavering between the high 180s and low 190s (I'll go back to my original blog posts and double check after I post this...) - and my morning weigh in this morning?

169.3!!!

HELL YEAH!

That means I've lost around 20 lbs since my birthday, 2 1/2 months ago! That's crazy! How do I lose 20 lbs and hardly even realize it?

Only about 35 lbs to go now! Which seems a much more attainable goal than 50+ lbs (:barf:). I've been lazy about exercising lately, and I REALLY need to get back in to running, especially if I want to run a damn marathon by next June o.O But I think the whole 'gluten free vegan' thing has REALLY gotten the ball rolling - I feel great, and soon, I'll look great too!

Can I get a hallelujah!?

ETA: Well DAMN. It wasn't my birthday-ish. It was late April. BUT STILL, yay!

PETA: People Eating Tasty Animals?

On August 14th I saw a video that deeply disturbed me, (It's the video on tab '3')...

http://features.peta.org/VegetarianStarterKit/index.asp

I always knew that animals were kept in less than stellar conditions, but I never had watched a video showing me EXACTLY what these poor creatures go through. It broke my heart, and I can't get the horrific images out of my head. When I walk in to the grocery store and see meat, or dairy products, or eggs, all I can think of are the images from this video :shudder: Do I think that humans were meant to eat meat? Well, of course. We are an omnivorous species, which is clearly indicated from our dental make up. HOWEVER, I don't think that how we are farming our meat is acceptable. NO creature should endure the life those poor animals have to.

Because of this, I've decided to transition over to a vegan lifestyle. It may be more of a 'flexitarian' (um, yes, it's a word) lifestyle, where I occasionally eat meat/dairy/eggs, but only from local farms that I've visited and KNOW for a fact that the animals were raised (and killed) humanely.

Stepping down off my podium now...

That said, I'd like to share an absolutely DELICIOUS (I mean DEEEEE-lish!) recipe I found from another blogger (The Gluten Free Vegan). If you like Italian style food, then you will LOVE these eggplant bites. In fact, my kids devoured the darn things so quickly I wish I would have made a second batch! We ate them with some pasta sauce on top :) They were SUPPOSE to be my dinner tonight... I guess I'll just have to make a few more... I think they'll pair well with the balsamic brussel sprouts I'll be making (another yummo recipe from TGFV blog)!

(Yes, this picture is crappy. Not only am I a shitty photog, this was taken with an iPod... HAHA)

http://www.theglutenfreevegan.com/2012/05/eggplant-quinoa-bites/#comment-5827

I didn't have any hemp hearts (soft hulled hemp seed), but I did have flax seed, so I subbed them in.

Sinful. Really. :wipesupdrool: What are you waiting on - go make them!

Hey there beautiful, it's been awhile *wink*

(this didn't post when it was suppose to, for some reason, back on the 15th...)

The topic line has little to do with what I actually plan on talking venting about in this post... but I thought it might make someone smile.

When you look up 'indecisive' in the dictionary, what do you think you'll see? This?:

in·de·ci·sive [in-di-sahy-siv] Show IPA adjective
1. characterized by indecision, as persons; irresolute; undecided.
2. not decisive or conclusive: a severe but indecisive battle.
3. lacking definition; vague or indistinct: the indecisive outline of the distant hills.

NO. WRONG. (well, you will see that, but that's not what I'm going for either... I guess it's a trend today) You will see this:

Hello world! This is who I am. I am Erin. I am indecisive. My middle name should be fickle, or waffle, or ... well, you get the point. I can't decide on things.

And what is something that I've been battling with for YEARS, now? My children's education. Specifically, whether to home school or send them off to public school (private school isn't an option because I can't afford it!). I have a plethora of reasons to home school, and I am a staunch supporter of homeschooling, as is my husband... but there have been serious bumps in the road.

Three of my four children are special needs. My oldest, age 7, is an Aspie (Asperger's Syndrome is a type of high functioning autism), and has epilepsy. So think: therapies, and doctor's appointments... aaaand temper tantrums, social skills issues, and sensory processing issues. My third child, age 4, has problems with all the same things my daughter does, and I'm convinced he is autistic although he hasn't been 'formally' diagnosed. My fourth child, age 2, has speech delays and receives weekly in home therapy. He is progressing, but his lack of being able to communicate as he would want to can make him frustrated and cause major melt downs.

So what does this mean for me? It means I've driven my self bat-shit crazy. I'm a pretty patient person, but dealing with 4 children, 3 of which have needs beyond what my neurotypical child has (you know, a kid that is 'normal' ... people in the special needs community try to avoid saying stuff like that though... *shrug*). I feel like my homeschooling over the last 3 years (2 if you don't count preschool) has caused me to become a person I don't even know any more. I'm wound like a top, and wired like a bomb.

So you would think the answer is OBVIOUS, right? Send the kids to school? Ahh, if only it were that easy. You see, the problem lies in the fact that I still think that the reasons why I home schooled in the first place are still valid (more family time, better education, more flexibility for therapy and doctor's appointments, better ability to mold my children in to the young adults *I* think they should be, to the best of my ability anyway, and the ability to customize their education to fit their needs whether it be content, time, or materials/presentation). I see my sending them to public school as a selfish act, and see myself as a failure for sending them.

Do I think that all public schools are inherently evil? Absolutely not. Do I think there are pros and cons to both home school AND traditional/public schooling? Well, of course, I'm not THAT naive. So why can't I seem to make a decision that I'm happy with? That educates my children, keeps them in a wholesome environment, AND allows my sanity to remain intact?

Because, I'm indecisive. >.<