Today, it was a pencil pouch.
Yeah, you read right (I'd say 'you heard me'... buuuuut, you didn't. You're reading.) - a pencil pouch. Why? Beats the shit outta me!
A few years back, the last time I was in school, I bought a 'pencil pouch' for all my loose shit that needed to be contained. Pencils, pens, highlighters, lead, erasers, thumb drives - you get the picture. If I couldn't snap it in to the binder, or place it neatly (read: FLAT) in a folder, then it went in to the shit carrier. Turns out, the one I bought this last time was perfect...
It was well made (that sucker lasted me 2+ years of college abuse!), had a *real* zipper (unlike some of those glorified 'sealing' zippers that look like I just bought a Ziplock Freezer Bag and 3-hole punched it and called it a pencil pouch), and unlike the majority of the other shit carriers I came across it had a CLEAR window instead of mesh. Mesh windows simply won't do. Why? Allow me to enlighten you:
--> Tiny pieces of lead, should they manage their way out of the container, fall helplessly through the mesh to its certain death on the floor or the bottomless pit commonly referred to as a backpack.
--> Miniature mechanical pencil eraser refills will wiggle their way through the mesh once they realize their lead brethren have escaped.
--> Freshly sharpened #2 pencils will lodge in the mesh, breaking their glorious tips.
--> Highlighter and pen 'shirt clips' (I don't know wtf they're called - the little lips on the caps that you use to clip them on to things!) can snag on the mesh and create a show-down between owner and manipulative in trying to untangle it from the mesh's hold.
--> Travel sized pencil sharpeners that house the clippings from your once beautiful, now mangled, #2 pencils will undoubtedly open at the most inconvenient time and let loose its wooden terror. These shavings will migrate through your entire binder like miniature beasts of burden, staining and contaminating all it its path.
--> And you can just forget about putting anything with a relatively sharp edge in a mesh window pencil pouch. Rather than being violently snipped apart, it surrenders its mesh at its own 'hands', unraveling at the mere thought of being encountered by said sharp edged object.
There are more reasons, but I'm sure I've shown you the light. Mesh windowed shit containers are worthless - they.will.not.do.
So off I am, searching the internet for a clear-window shit container, that looks to be of good construction similar to my last.
After a decent allotment of time sitting, my ass starting to get sore, I find it. It's perfect. THE shit container I've been passionately searching for all my past 32 minutes! But there was a problem. The price was right ($2.08), the shipping was not ($6.04). What is a girl to do? Of course, I could buy it - but paying more for shipping than the object itself goes against my very being. I just can't do it. I would have happily paid $5.00 for the case and $3.12 in shipping, equaling out to be the same price as its current listing... but unfortunately that's not what it was listed as, and I couldn't bring myself to click "BUY NOW!".
I did what any semi-rational person with a pencil pouch fixation and OCD about shipping prices would do - I copied the brand, name, and item number of the shit container and started scouring the internet. Everywhere I looked, shipping was more than the item! EVERYWHERE! So then I started searching for free shipping coupons... and discount coupons... and free shipping with registration or first order coupons... I searched on E-Bay, Amazon, the Google and Bing stores, and even CRAIG'S LIST (what the fuck was I thinking there? Who is going to list a shit container on Craig's List!?)
And it was then, at my weakest moment - I found it. $4.44 with no shipping. The rain stopped, the clouds parted, and the sun shone down on this most beautiful moment. Without hesitation, the shit container was bought. When it comes, and I verify it's quality, I plan on returning to the same store and purchasing 5 more - hoping never to have to endure this sort of pencil pouch suffrage again (and no, I'm not kidding - I really do plan on buying more).
I've uploaded a photo for you all, so you may revel in its gloriousness alongside me :harp music and gospel choir:
I think the only thing that would make it better is if it were pink... but that venture, already taken, has proven fruitless...
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